About HopeeBB : In between dreams
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41040) - you deserved it (5589)
On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40230) - you deserved it (3157)
On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is for almost an hour. She told me about their sex life, described his dick in great detail, and showed me pictures of him shirtless. My coworker is 49; her fiancé is 56 and overweight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34186) - you deserved it (3048)
On 07/05/2011 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is for almost an hour. She told me about their sex life, described his dick in great detail, and showed me pictures of him shirtless. My coworker is 49; her fiancé is 56 and overweight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34186) - you deserved it (3048)
On 07/05/2011 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, while I was delivering pizza in the torrential downpour, I waited 5 minutes in the pouring rain for an old lady to dig 20 bucks out of her purse. Her total was $19.99. She told me to keep the change and make lots of money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27766) - you deserved it (2352)
On 06/21/2011 at 12:52pm - work - by micheal - United States
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (22539) - you deserved it (12138)
On 06/20/2011 at 4:12am - love - by blondetergent (man) - Singapore
Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56491) - you deserved it (8697)
On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35613) - you deserved it (22845)
On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32261) - you deserved it (5581)
On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I realised how poor I am when I found myself fishing out a two dollar coin someone had left behind in a public toilet bowl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23010) - you deserved it (4765)
On 03/01/2011 at 7:12am - money - by youshitme (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34493) - you deserved it (4376)
On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37642) - you deserved it (3646)
On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my sister got caught cheating on her boyfriend. She was cheating on him with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39507) - you deserved it (2941)
On 08/15/2010 at 7:39am - intimacy - by bbbblt - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37363) - you deserved it (6279)
On 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm - love - by Cheese4men - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31314) - you deserved it (15045)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
