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Holybatman

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Holybatman
  • Town/Country : Calgary, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11466
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Holybatman's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Holybatman's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML

#17690152
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22884) - you deserved it (12098)

On 09/07/2011 at 6:14pm - work - by Sammylad - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

#17625753
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26166) - you deserved it (4116)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Annie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

#17615072
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33195) - you deserved it (3228)

On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML

#17583731
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22074) - you deserved it (3041)

On 08/26/2011 at 3:35am - love - by EpicMayonnaise (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33286) - you deserved it (2973)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot whispering "jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML

#17531478
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21512) - you deserved it (1498)

On 08/20/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by lala7 - United States

Today, I bought my cats two new litter boxes in hopes that they would use them. They still prefer to pee on the clothes in my closet. FML

#17509957
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18148) - you deserved it (5987)

On 08/18/2011 at 1:40pm - animals - by princessbbee - United States

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

#17497586
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22119) - you deserved it (10492)

On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

#17457165
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14780) - you deserved it (23418)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML

#17399752
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18759) - you deserved it (3355)

On 08/07/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Polmkk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41441) - you deserved it (2611)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends and I rented a party bus, which broke down on the highway 45 minutes into the ride. I paid the guy for the whole four hours. He said he was going to flag down a car to get someone to help us. We saw him get into a car and leave. FML

#17253464
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26204) - you deserved it (2942)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:08pm - money - by tim12345 - United States

Today, I was sitting waiting for my train for a long while. When it finally came, I had pins and needles in my foot. When I got up, I fell and unsuccessfully stumbled towards the train. The doors closed and it left without me. FML

#17201345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24533) - you deserved it (3812)

On 07/21/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13845) - you deserved it (61783)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13845) - you deserved it (61783)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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