Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Holybatman

Search for a member

Holybatman
  • Town/Country : Calgary, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11483
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Holybatman's last visitors

swampbaby985king_of_LAMandyCat484ilovemychemZephyrrrvalipalichicaman123haylburgLittlestPrincessbrowneyedgirl52

Holybatman's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Holybatman's badges

Holybatman's favorite FMLs

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML

#527
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27714) - you deserved it (1656)

On 12/16/2008 at 11:10pm - misc - by bloom - Sent from mobile version

Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML

#523
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5836) - you deserved it (20273)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version

Today, my Art Director once again turned down a demo model (for an advertisement) that I'd been working on for a week. This time he took his belt off and started thrashing the model to pieces. FML

#517
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19197) - you deserved it (1507)

On 12/14/2008 at 10:24pm - work - by Fuzy - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

#452
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68622) - you deserved it (3743)

On 12/05/2008 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Mak1 - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, during a lunch I said "It must be awful to realize that you've been cheated on!". One of the men present had just found out that he had been. I then try to correct my tactlessness by saying "The worst must be when your wife leaves you for another woman". Which was also the case. FML

#399
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16728) - you deserved it (6122)

On 11/27/2008 at 7:34am - misc - by lovely-sweet - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was looking for a magazine in my mother's bedside cabinet and I came across some daft test about sex. Apparently, my mother likes anal, oral, and my dad's cock is bent. Nauseous. FML

#386
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32104) - you deserved it (6933)

On 11/25/2008 at 3:54am - intimacy - by mael - Sent from mobile version

Today, whilst chatting with my mum on MSN, she unintentionally sent me an animated emoticon of a penis jerking off repeatedly. I don't even want to know the type of conversation she was having. FML

#375
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34345) - you deserved it (2134)

On 11/23/2008 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Dina - Sent from mobile version

Today, I helped my son do his maths homework. He got a C and won’t talk to me anymore. FML

#298
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26073) - you deserved it (14998)

On 11/13/2008 at 6:39am - kids - by pinpin - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was writing to my girlfriend on msn when her roommate answered «Sorry, this is not Marie, she is at her boyfriend’s». Really? I've looked everywhere in my flat, I can’t find her. FML

#39
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66645) - you deserved it (3319)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm - love - by Icy -

Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML

#13
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96169) - you deserved it (13968)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:23am - love - by Sarah91 -

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

#8
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266570) - you deserved it (23311)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -

Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML

#6
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82293) - you deserved it (37694)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - love - by mocass’1 (woman) - France



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: