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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14530) - you deserved it (1288)
On 01/23/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by sigh - United States (New York)
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50297) - you deserved it (6943)
On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)
Today, I was woken out of my drunken state by a guy trying to stick his penis in my mouth. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23291) - you deserved it (4255)
On 01/22/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got a mailer from Adam and Eve with a bunch of hard core porn ads inside. I have been getting these since i ordered a Pirate porn video a few months ago. I was gone for a few weeks overseas. My mother in law was getting the mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3940) - you deserved it (6125)
On 01/22/2009 at 4:31pm - love - by Noname - United States (Texas)
Today, my brother's girlfriend dumped him. I overheard my mom tell him "It could be worse. Your brother can't even get a girlfriend". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18099) - you deserved it (1068)
On 01/20/2009 at 3:41pm - love - by Taylor - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23283) - you deserved it (1256)
On 01/19/2009 at 6:12am - love - by f'ed_over - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got an email notification from Yahoo! Personals: "Hi, we've found 0 new matches for you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13447) - you deserved it (1506)
On 01/17/2009 at 7:40pm - love - by sad sack. - United States (Florida)
Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1pm, smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4am, jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7913) - you deserved it (25871)
On 01/17/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by none - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to the bagel shop down the street for breakfast, the same one I've been going to for over 6 months now. At the counter the same lil' cook guy who's served me over those same 6 months, looks at me and says, "Yes, Ms?". I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11350) - you deserved it (1262)
On 01/14/2009 at 6:06am - misc - by dunnough - United States (New York)
Today, I went to the bagel shop down the street for breakfast, the same one I've been going to for over 6 months now. At the counter the same lil' cook guy who's served me over those same 6 months, looks at me and says, "Yes, Ms?". I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11350) - you deserved it (1262)
On 01/14/2009 at 6:06am - misc - by dunnough - United States (New York)
Today, I saw a friend in the street but he didn't see me, so as a joke I decided to ring him. He took his mobile out of his pocket, sighed and didn't pick up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24722) - you deserved it (2207)
On 01/12/2009 at 9:47pm - misc - by patty - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23117) - you deserved it (5882)
On 01/12/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by LiLGeek - United States (California)
Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9257) - you deserved it (5271)
On 01/07/2009 at 12:53am - misc - by maaaryy - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14353) - you deserved it (5946)
On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16113) - you deserved it (5046)
On 12/29/2008 at 11:54pm - love - by sneezer - Sent from mobile version
Monday 17 June 2013
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