Holybatman

Search for a member

Offline (the 08/27/2016 at 5:50pm)

Holybatman

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 26752
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Holybatman's page activity

Visits<b>Dr_Awesome654</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 6:04am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:48am<b>superwhovian</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:01pm<b>misjell94</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 7:08am<b>KrustyKrab</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 6:49am<b>Tsula1994</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 5:33pm<b>oathkeeper99</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 9:09am<b>KatPlaysMC</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:15am<b>pubeboy</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:41pm<b>jordaandanielle</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:20pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:18pm<b>jentrynicole</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 12:48pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 9:26am<b>stryggzy</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 7:06am<b>Atowns40</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 9:01am<b>Zenithbeauty</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:47am<b>hollandchris0822</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 2:35pm<b>zehtinyapple</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 1:42pm

Fucked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 3:26pm<b>Zenithbeauty</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:47am

Holybatman's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Holybatman's badges

Holybatman's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

by EpicFail / 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML

by constantine / 02/04/2009 at 9:18am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, in biology class, I kept seeing a fly mosquito buzzing past my face and I kept trying to swat at it... only to realize that it was a ceiling sprinkler that was about 10 feet away. I have no depth perception. FML

by Mith / 02/04/2009 at 5:56am / Poland (Wielkopolskie) / Animals

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

by RustyBulletHole / 02/04/2009 at 2:53am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

by Morgan / 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guys name. FML

by Randy Savage / 02/02/2009 at 11:29am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML

by someonevexed / 02/01/2009 at 2:01pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Love

Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML

by someonevexed / 02/01/2009 at 2:01pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Love

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

by HumanNature / 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

by GavinHosler / 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I marked the 6th anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML

by Noname / 01/28/2009 at 3:18pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

by ottawaaa / 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML

by Anizzaf / 01/27/2009 at 12:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

by Boredom / 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML

by sigh / 01/23/2009 at 8:55pm / United States (New York) / Love