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Taday in biology class, I kept seeing a fly mosquito buzzing past face and I kept trying to swat at it... only to realize that it was a ceiling sprinkler that was about 10 feet away. I have no depth perception. FML
Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot fir my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone calld in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML
Today, I picked up my cat an it went wild cuz I didn't know he was sleeping . I ended with with several cuts, an one on my wrist . Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist an told my guidance counselor who told my parents . Now everyone think I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo . real FML
Today , I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother looool walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later , I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
Today, boyfriend showed his mother photo of me. He told her that he think I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, an turns out she is a local porn starho's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML
Friday 27 March 2015