Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Holybatman

Offline (47 minutes ago) | Search for a member

Holybatman

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17182
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Holybatman's page activity

Visits<b>deedeedeniel</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 1:17am<b>lovely_mess3</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 12:27am<b>HereToLaughAtU</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 8:01pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 5:20am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 2:38pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 12:33pm<b>LowwLoww</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:24pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:25pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:07pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:04pm<b>Rebecca4826</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 12:36pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 3:29am<b>king_of_LA</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 10:16pm<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 1:29pm<b>RageButtons</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 1:14am<b>ilovemychem</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 10:22pm<b>Zephyrrr</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 12:31am<b>valipali</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 4:18pm

Holybatman's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Holybatman's badges

Holybatman's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

#8687
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34351) - you deserved it (13301)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML

#7578
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27612) - you deserved it (2953)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:18am - love - by constantine (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, in biology class, I kept seeing a fly mosquito buzzing past my face and I kept trying to swat at it... only to realize that it was a ceiling sprinkler that was about 10 feet away. I have no depth perception. FML

#7338
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13142) - you deserved it (14668)

On 02/04/2009 at 5:56am - animals - by Mith (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

#7193
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38701) - you deserved it (1894)

On 02/04/2009 at 2:53am - animals - by RustyBulletHole - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

#6869
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33278) - you deserved it (2577)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm - kids - by Morgan (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guys name. FML

#5350
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15209) - you deserved it (63151)

On 02/02/2009 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Randy Savage (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML

#4745
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33332) - you deserved it (9247)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:01pm - love - by someonevexed - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML

#4745
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33332) - you deserved it (9247)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:01pm - love - by someonevexed - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

#4312
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24979) - you deserved it (2720)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

#3435
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38154) - you deserved it (29949)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)

Today, I marked the 6th anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML

#3114
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35111) - you deserved it (5050)

On 01/28/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

#2899
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33092) - you deserved it (9691)

On 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by ottawaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML

#2835
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25026) - you deserved it (2557)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by Anizzaf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15606) - you deserved it (68078)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML

#2388
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20652) - you deserved it (1966)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by sigh - United States (New York)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: