Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Holybatman

Offline (yesterday at 11:01am) | Search for a member

Holybatman

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 19690
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Holybatman's page activity

Visits<b>misjell94</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 7:08am<b>KrustyKrab</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 6:49am<b>arasx0</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 3:29pm<b>Tsula1994</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 5:33pm<b>oathkeeper99</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 9:09am<b>KatPlaysMC</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:15am<b>pubeboy</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:41pm<b>jordaandanielle</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:20pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:18pm<b>jentrynicole</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 12:48pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 9:26am<b>stryggzy</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 7:06am<b>Atowns40</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 9:01am<b>kjax</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 12:55am<b>Zenithbeauty</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:47am<b>hollandchris0822</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 2:35pm<b>zehtinyapple</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 1:42pm<b>netflixislove</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 9:11am

Liked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 3:26pm<b>Zenithbeauty</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:47am

Holybatman's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Holybatman's badges

Holybatman's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell asleep . I felt something on my face . I battd it away . It was my hamster . It did from a concussion upon hitting the wall . FML

#8687
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36121) - you deserved it (13996)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Taday I told mah girlfriend that I didn't feel wantd. Then she talkd about how her cat pukd looool on the carpet. FML

#7578
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27671) - you deserved it (2958)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:18am - love - by constantine (man) - United States (Florida)

Taday in biology class, I kept seeing a fly mosquito buzzing past face and I kept trying to swat at it... only to realize that it was a ceiling sprinkler that was about 10 feet away. I have no depth perception. FML

#7338
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13197) - you deserved it (14689)

On 02/04/2009 at 5:56am - animals - by Mith (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)

YESTERDAY I GOT UP AT 5AM, BRUSHED MY TEETH, SHAVED AND SHOWERED TO GET READY 4 WORK ONLY TO STEP BAREFOOT IN A HUGE PILE OF DOG CRAP IN THE MIDDLE OF MY LIVING ROOM FLOOR. I DON'T OWN A DOG. FML

#7193
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38791) - you deserved it (1904)

On 02/04/2009 at 2:53am - animals - by RustyBulletHole - United States (Illinois)

today my friend's son askd me how much coke costs in this place!! I told him ( about a dollar? ) He said ( wow, that's really cheap 4 blow!! ) He's 10!! FML

#6869
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33362) - you deserved it (2578)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm - kids - by Morgan (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today my girlfriend asked if er friend Alex from ig scool could join in wit us an we could ave an amazing treesome !! As a orny dude ow could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guys name !! FML

#5350
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15215) - you deserved it (64424)

On 02/02/2009 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Randy Savage (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today , mah boyfriand callad ma by his mothar's nama 4 tha 100th tima. I'm a guy. maga FML

#4745
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33423) - you deserved it (9267)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:01pm - love - by someonevexed - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today , mah boyfriand callad ma by his mothar's nama 4 tha 100th tima. I'm a guy. maga FML

#4745
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33423) - you deserved it (9267)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:01pm - love - by someonevexed - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot fir my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone calld in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

#4312
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25843) - you deserved it (2802)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)

Today..!! I was having sex with mah girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of mah roomate name)hen I came!! Now her and her friend think i'm gay and mah roomate Brad moved out!! FML

#3435
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38252) - you deserved it (30010)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)

Today, I markad tha 6th annivarsary of tha last tima I had intarcoursa. FML

#3114
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35788) - you deserved it (5130)

On 01/28/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with mah grlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. mega FML

#2899
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33166) - you deserved it (9700)

On 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by ottawaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I picked up my cat an it went wild cuz I didn't know he was sleeping . I ended with with several cuts, an one on my wrist . Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist an told my guidance counselor who told my parents . Now everyone think I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo . real FML

#2835
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26002) - you deserved it (2667)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by Anizzaf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother looool walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later , I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15660) - you deserved it (68221)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, boyfriend showed his mother photo of me. He told her that he think I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, an turns out she is a local porn starho's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML

#2388
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20737) - you deserved it (1970)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by sigh - United States (New York)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: