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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Holybatman's favorite FMLs
by cupcake_butt / 10/17/2011 at 4:39am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Unemployed / 10/16/2011 at 3:15am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
by Eet- / 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, during my first date with a girl I've liked for awhile, she tells me about some minor disabilities she was born with. Wanting to be honest with her too, I tell her I'm slightly autistic. Her response was, "I'm sorry this isn't going to work. I can't date a retard." I had to eat alone after that. FML
by DyingPlants / 10/09/2011 at 11:27pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML
by ...... / 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by soapy / 10/01/2011 at 12:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 1:20am / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 4:27pm / United States / Love
by Nicole / 09/19/2011 at 4:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
by holler / 09/15/2011 at 12:22am / Japan (Tokyo) / Intimacy
Today, I watched a cat pounce on a small bird and rip it to shreds, feather by feather. It wouldn't have been any worse than mildly disturbing, had I not just spent the last 4 weeks nursing the bird back to health from a broken wing. FML
by Twitchy / 09/14/2011 at 7:20pm / Bahamas (New Providence) / Animals
Today, I finished the first month of a diet and exercise program designed to help me lose weight. To keep myself motivated, I have avoided the scale the entire time. I weighed myself today. I've gained 6 pounds. FML
by Anonymous / 09/14/2011 at 2:21pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health