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Holybatman

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Holybatman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14287
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Holybatman's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

#69948
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50953) - you deserved it (20849)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandmother called. She greeted me by my mother's name. When I told her it was not my mother, she apologized and corrected herself, but this time she addressed me as my sister. When I told her it was not my sister either, she said "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up. FML

#65383
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46233) - you deserved it (2732)

On 02/18/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by fuckthat (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

#60108
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66040) - you deserved it (5135)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

#55493
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9295) - you deserved it (61163)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looks at me and asks "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML

#52695
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39376) - you deserved it (9988)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:08pm - misc - by k (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looks at me and asks "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML

#52695
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39376) - you deserved it (9988)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:08pm - misc - by k (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML

#50686
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46113) - you deserved it (6234)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:45am - animals - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he'd gone; I waited for 5. In the card was written, "It's not working out, but here's $20." FML

#48184
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60058) - you deserved it (3290)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by blah (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentines Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML

#45880
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39640) - you deserved it (2663)

On 02/15/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by kolgate (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML

#43502
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67554) - you deserved it (6991)

On 02/14/2009 at 7:38pm - misc - by NeverCampingAgain (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was crying after having argued with my boyfriend. My mom saw me, she asked "Why are you crying? Don't you have homework to do?" FML

#40006
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29263) - you deserved it (5815)

On 02/13/2009 at 11:43pm - misc - by crazycutie1027 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48062) - you deserved it (7820)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML

#30754
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26066) - you deserved it (51089)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:17am - intimacy - by florisvanlent (man) - Netherlands (Drenthe)

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

#27684
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73167) - you deserved it (3847)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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