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Holybatman

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Holybatman
  • Town/Country : Calgary, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11417
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Holybatman's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39074) - you deserved it (7374)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML

#18153608
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28474) - you deserved it (6309)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:29am - love - by fmlifer - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60358) - you deserved it (4435)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

#18072283
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31404) - you deserved it (2623)

On 10/25/2011 at 2:04pm - kids - by mew - Canada

Today, I uploaded my latest picture onto a photography website. It only got one comment, and even that was from someone advising me to never use the same hideous model ever again. It was a self-portrait. FML

#18054599
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20372) - you deserved it (2971)

On 10/23/2011 at 2:05pm - misc - by fuglyphotographer (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15442) - you deserved it (43157) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, on my first day of being a trainee teacher in a classroom, I told a boy to stop using that stupid accent or else I'll give him a detention. Turns out he just moved here from Romania. FML

#18014852
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7160) - you deserved it (61524)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:08pm - kids - by KillMeNow (man) - United Kingdom (Sefton)

Today, on my first day of being a trainee teacher in a classroom, I told a boy to stop using that stupid accent or else I'll give him a detention. Turns out he just moved here from Romania. FML

#18014852
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7160) - you deserved it (61524)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:08pm - kids - by KillMeNow (man) - United Kingdom (Sefton)

Today, on my first day of being a trainee teacher in a classroom, I told a boy to stop using that stupid accent or else I'll give him a detention. Turns out he just moved here from Romania. FML

#18014852
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7160) - you deserved it (61524)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:08pm - kids - by KillMeNow (man) - United Kingdom (Sefton)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15584) - you deserved it (28086)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML

#18005415
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32285) - you deserved it (2693)

On 10/17/2011 at 7:46am - health - by Cats...FML (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML

#18005142
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49864) - you deserved it (4637)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:02am - love - by bubba - China

Today, my 28-year-old brother who has been pranking me all my life, put a chocolate cupcake on my chair. I sat on it, with my white dress. On my wedding day. FML

#18004959
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61941) - you deserved it (3707)

On 10/17/2011 at 4:39am - misc - by cupcake_butt - United States

Today, I tried to hint to my husband that we needed a new washing machine. I mentioned that we got our current one way back on our wedding day. He replied, "Yeah, and I got you too." FML

#17999890
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23597) - you deserved it (6960) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm - love - by poluxe - France

Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

#17999888
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28615) - you deserved it (5646) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm - work - by Mayabie - France



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