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Holybatman

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Holybatman
  • Town/Country : Calgary, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11489
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Holybatman's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Holybatman's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26542) - you deserved it (20631)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

#18691343
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23025) - you deserved it (12258)

On 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my girlfriend starts fights with me over text because apparently, when I'm arguing with someone, I stop speaking in "annoying shorthand" and am grammatically correct. FML

#18645768
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8058) - you deserved it (31053)

On 12/29/2011 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

#18547813
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9138) - you deserved it (56063)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

#18501609
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21140) - you deserved it (12391)

On 12/13/2011 at 7:26am - love - by reallyman__639 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8733) - you deserved it (68005)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML

#18465565
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22247) - you deserved it (2000)

On 12/09/2011 at 12:22am - love - by thatisnotcool45 - Canada

Today, it was my first time as a hockey referee, for a game played by 7-year-olds. At one point, a little boy tripped another boy. Doing my job, I gave him 2 minutes in the penalty box. After the game, I was attacked by a mob of parents. I was even given an optometrist's business card. FML

#18449960
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21615) - you deserved it (1948)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:26am - work - by gmnesbitt - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML

#18409313
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36280) - you deserved it (1726)

On 12/02/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

#18384979
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8246) - you deserved it (53529)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by seanjohn268 (man) - Canada

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

#18358747
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29015) - you deserved it (9285)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm - misc - by Person15 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32925) - you deserved it (5850)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after years of torment and relentless harassment, I finally built up the courage to stand up to a bully. I got a detention for swearing at him. FML

#18310525
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33061) - you deserved it (2748)

On 11/21/2011 at 7:35pm - misc - by damnedbydurberg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

#18279694
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29771) - you deserved it (3709)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:22am - work - by Anothernametaken (man) - United States

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

#18242868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25847) - you deserved it (3194)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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