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Holybatman

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Holybatman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14406
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Holybatman's favorite FMLs

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

#19063795
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32795) - you deserved it (2268)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

#19062994
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you deserved it (4522)

On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9712) - you deserved it (73926)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9712) - you deserved it (73926)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML

#19053808
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30201) - you deserved it (5795)

On 02/12/2012 at 1:17am - love - by OwMyBalls (man) -

Today, after parking my car, I was informed by an incredibly hot girl that my tail light was faulty. I tried hitting it to make it work again. Guess who has 5 stitches and a smashed tail light? FML

#19052794
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6164) - you deserved it (30392)

On 02/11/2012 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML

#19052034
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29824) - you deserved it (2906)

On 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm - love - by Anon - United States (Arizona)

Today, I looked over my next homework assignment for art class. It was to draw a portrait of my best friend. I can't think of anyone besides my mother. FML

#19048946
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26174) - you deserved it (3925)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by soupisyummy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I were playing Oregon Trail online. I googled "dysentery", and sent her an IM about the mind-blowing number of cartoons of people violently shitting everywhere. I accidentally sent it to my aunt. FML

#19048896
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6567) - you deserved it (19197)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Gabby (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

#18851241
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36243) - you deserved it (3979)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia

Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, "You know, sometimes, you look like Kevin Spacey." FML

#18832495
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24433) - you deserved it (3198)

On 01/17/2012 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Libyan Arab Jamahiriya

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

#18750908
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (3473)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33154) - you deserved it (9183)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my biology teacher assigned us partners for a project. I got paired up with one of the smartest kids in the class. When he found out I was his partner, he cried. FML

#18710808
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28639) - you deserved it (7974)

On 01/04/2012 at 10:07pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my biology teacher assigned us partners for a project. I got paired up with one of the smartest kids in the class. When he found out I was his partner, he cried. FML

#18710808
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28639) - you deserved it (7974)

On 01/04/2012 at 10:07pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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