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Holybatman

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Holybatman
  • Town/Country : Calgary, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11495
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Holybatman's last visitors

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Holybatman's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Holybatman's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

#19477663
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21722) - you deserved it (2683)

On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14688) - you deserved it (25591)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

#19247748
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20531) - you deserved it (2619)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13666) - you deserved it (48304)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17097) - you deserved it (18489)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

#19211804
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38566) - you deserved it (26630)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

#19208526
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10513) - you deserved it (24505)

On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML

#19205582
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19593) - you deserved it (8320)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

#19130391
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24251) - you deserved it (7905)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

#19117009
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23892) - you deserved it (4003)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to take a dump out of a second-story window is a very bad idea. FML

#19069104
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4904) - you deserved it (33112)

On 02/13/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by michael (man) - United States

Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML

#19067640
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24293) - you deserved it (3670)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by chlolivia (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

#19063795
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31359) - you deserved it (2172)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

#19063795
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31359) - you deserved it (2172)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -



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