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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9201) - you deserved it (29288)
On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)
Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13949) - you deserved it (1444)
On 05/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36998) - you deserved it (3015)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, I was having dinner with my college friends to celebrate the end of our first year. I said really great things about them as individuals. The only thing they had to say to me was, "Thanks for being the token black friend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17357) - you deserved it (1953)
On 05/14/2012 at 10:23pm - misc - by foreverbrown (man) - United States
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31307) - you deserved it (2939) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20768) - you deserved it (1711)
On 05/13/2012 at 11:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16029) - you deserved it (3062)
On 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Andy (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14882) - you deserved it (3460)
On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)
Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13275) - you deserved it (1829)
On 05/11/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United States
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35492) - you deserved it (2172)
On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13859) - you deserved it (2831)
On 04/23/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by GogoTheGreat - United States (Texas)
Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12181) - you deserved it (2883)
On 04/19/2012 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28531) - you deserved it (2407)
On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24767) - you deserved it (1938)
On 04/17/2012 at 10:54am - love - by unloved (woman) - United States
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24472) - you deserved it (1904)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Monday 20 May 2013
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