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Holybatman

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Holybatman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14278
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Holybatman's favorite FMLs

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

#16103696
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32497) - you deserved it (2963)

On 05/09/2011 at 11:02am - misc - by scarlet (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

#15921187
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36341) - you deserved it (18825)

On 04/25/2011 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

#15791793
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30018) - you deserved it (7139)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by HWS - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I held a door open for my boyfriend and jokingly said, "Chivalry is dead?" He responded with, "Who's chivalry?" FML

#15780453
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28896) - you deserved it (7147)

On 04/14/2011 at 1:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

#15773415
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44476) - you deserved it (6717)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by FrOsTy25 -

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

#15689695
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14105) - you deserved it (39416)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:31am - love - by Payte -

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34396) - you deserved it (13149)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

#15676274
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43684) - you deserved it (3678)

On 04/07/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13764) - you deserved it (69158)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

#15538339
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33352) - you deserved it (4809)

On 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by -_- - United States (Florida)

Today, I dropped my blackberry, but thanks to the protective gel case that I just purchased for it... it bounced and fell right into a sidewalk drainage sewer. FML

#15531750
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39679) - you deserved it (5002)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:48pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't have been so bothered if she hadn't had phone sex with him, all while pretending to be me. He got so into it, he now thinks we're a couple. FML

#15514869
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45745) - you deserved it (5741)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

#15486650
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8437) - you deserved it (52994)

On 03/25/2011 at 7:05pm - misc - by freshman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML

#15485596
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23238) - you deserved it (9253)

On 03/25/2011 at 5:52pm - animals - by fish killer - United States (Illinois)

Today, to celebrate my older sister's 21st birthday, my parents forced me to take the night off work so we could all go to the casino. Not only is this coming out of my vacation, I wasn't old enough to enter the casino, so I had to sit in the car. FML

#15483665
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35440) - you deserved it (4013)

On 03/25/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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