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Holybatman's favorite FMLs
by anonymous / 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (Mississippi) / Money
by Bobby M / 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Health
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
by scarlet / 05/09/2011 at 11:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML
by Ouch / 04/25/2011 at 3:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by HWS / 04/15/2011 at 1:47am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/14/2011 at 1:49am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by FrOsTy25 / 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML
by Payte / 04/08/2011 at 1:31am / Love
by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 11:15am / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 3:11am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Animals
by JJMan217 / 03/29/2011 at 2:28am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
by -_- / 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by anonymous / 03/28/2011 at 2:48pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't have been so bothered if she hadn't had phone sex with him, all while pretending to be me. He got so into it, he now thinks we're a couple. FML
by Username / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML
by freshman / 03/25/2011 at 7:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous