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Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11714) - you totally deserved it (980)
On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
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On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML
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On 01/28/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3420) - you totally deserved it (18045)
On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad and I were sitting in the living room, when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There is some creepy hobo man outside, messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML
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On 12/08/2009 at 12:09am - love - by CheLi (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19357) - you totally deserved it (1465)
On 12/03/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33139) - you totally deserved it (3825)
On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today I was eating m&ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering "where is that little bastard?" FML
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On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had been working at the checkout for over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink, he smiled and winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34187) - you totally deserved it (2131)
On 09/03/2009 at 9:27am - work - by Pop_Pies (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39225) - you totally deserved it (6439)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36771) - you totally deserved it (8434)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43401) - you totally deserved it (2873)
On 07/11/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was involved in a car accident. I wasn't the driver of either car. I happened to be a passerby that was hit by a falling stop sign as a car hit it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39181) - you totally deserved it (1177)
On 07/11/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by ttsutaoka (man) - United States (California)
Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35588) - you totally deserved it (1171)
On 06/20/2009 at 1:28am - health - by sleepless (man) - United States (California)
Today, I flew into LAX. I get nervous when I fly so I brought my recently deceased dad's ashes with me in my purse. They're in a quarter sized urn which is melted shut. Security didn't believe it contained ashes so they broke it open spilling my dad all over the table. Sorry Daddy. FML
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On 06/18/2009 at 5:29pm - misc - by CaliGirl (woman) - United States (Arizona)
