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HollyoaksFan93's favorite FMLs
by HWS / 04/15/2011 at 1:47am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by CutieBooty / 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
by Michelle / 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my math teacher brought his laptop to tally up all our scores for our report card. He then displayed the results on a big screen in front of the whole class. The ones who failed were marked yellow. I was the only one marked yellow. FML
by thestudent / 02/18/2011 at 4:30am / Philippines (Manila) / Miscellaneous
by Ihavealisp / 02/15/2011 at 9:32pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/30/2010 at 10:00am / Japan (Tokyo) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by E or / 07/13/2010 at 9:41am / United States (Oregon) / Health
by hiii. / 03/15/2010 at 10:27pm / United States (Indiana) / Geek
Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML
by bathroomblunder / 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
by Soresack / 01/04/2010 at 8:34am / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML
by Anonymous / 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2009 at 12:22pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, I spent the entire day at the hospital and was sent home attached to an obnoxious and somewhat painful heart monitor. I felt fine and decided to go to a bonfire with a few friends. I thought everyone was being nice until I overheard the guys referring to me as an unattractive xbox. FML
by Anonymous / 11/26/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I had a job interview. I also slept in late, my car doesn't work and my brother canceled on… Today, my parents had a family discussion about my sister's birthday plans because it was the "next… Today, I found my sister talking to her dolls. This would be fine if she wasn't 24, I have to live…