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Hmk1994's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Hmk1994's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML
by Anonymous / 09/18/2014 at 3:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
by HappilyNeverAfter / 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Ithoughtheywerenormalpeople / 08/11/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML
by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy
Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML
by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by oh my fucking god / 07/10/2014 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
by HeartToFart / 07/08/2014 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML
by ADanceWithDavos / 07/07/2014 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Animals
Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by stopinthenameoflove / 06/19/2014 at 10:37am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/25/2014 at 11:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm / United States / Love
by taintedlover / 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML
by trp007 / 04/06/2014 at 11:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…