About Hikarishimizu : I'm 14. Life sucks at this age. :/
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Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33291) - you deserved it (3927)
On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34761) - you deserved it (14395)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34761) - you deserved it (14395)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada
Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20168) - you deserved it (6892)
On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28250) - you deserved it (4426)
On 09/27/2011 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28250) - you deserved it (4426)
On 09/27/2011 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25363) - you deserved it (4085)
On 09/21/2011 at 9:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29096) - you deserved it (4039)
On 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29955) - you deserved it (2838)
On 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm - intimacy - by wf - United States
Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29257) - you deserved it (5422) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I put my cat in the tub for a bath, as he rolled around in some mud. The second I put my hand on the faucet to turn the water on, he screamed, rather loudly. I yelled in shock, which must have scared him further, as he vigorously attacked my face and pissed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16237) - you deserved it (10037)
On 09/07/2011 at 12:47pm - animals - by GEFStryker - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I put my cat in the tub for a bath, as he rolled around in some mud. The second I put my hand on the faucet to turn the water on, he screamed, rather loudly. I yelled in shock, which must have scared him further, as he vigorously attacked my face and pissed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16237) - you deserved it (10037)
On 09/07/2011 at 12:47pm - animals - by GEFStryker - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19515) - you deserved it (5182)
On 09/07/2011 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by thismakesmesad (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24107) - you deserved it (3458)
On 09/07/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Nublet (woman) - United States
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41327) - you deserved it (5083)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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