About Hikarishimizu : I'm 14. Life sucks at this age. :/
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (10375) - you deserved it (115656)
On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, our entire crew team was at a yoga studio for an introductory yoga lesson. All my teammates could talk about how hot the yoga instructor was in her tight spandex while doing the sexy yoga poses. Everyone, including the coach, wanted to do her. The yoga instructor is my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66307) - you deserved it (3136)
On 03/27/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by unitywoods (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139733) - you deserved it (24742)
On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)
Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (125771) - you deserved it (9412)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at my friends house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girl if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dial my number and look down to find she has my number is saved in her phone as ASS FACE #3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55529) - you deserved it (7682)
On 03/24/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83727) - you deserved it (23711)
On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (115106) - you deserved it (4696)
On 03/23/2009 at 6:46pm - animals - by birthdayfun (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86762) - you deserved it (9149)
On 03/23/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9983) - you deserved it (92605)
On 03/23/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by lily (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing he replied "well I was looking for your boobs but apparently you have none" FML
I agree, your life sucks (82623) - you deserved it (6176)
On 03/22/2009 at 11:18pm - intimacy - by tinytitty (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (99724) - you deserved it (15642)
On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was on the bus going to formal for my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bus when I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realized it wasn't raining, but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (127519) - you deserved it (8077)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML
I agree, your life sucks (180609) - you deserved it (9218)
On 03/22/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (193640) - you deserved it (21244)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54036) - you deserved it (5237)
On 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
