About Hikarishimizu : I'm 14. Life sucks at this age. :/
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18847) - you deserved it (7122)
On 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by idrathernotgiveoutmyname (woman) - Canada
Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18847) - you deserved it (7122)
On 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by idrathernotgiveoutmyname (woman) - Canada
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23517) - you deserved it (3636)
On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23517) - you deserved it (3636)
On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13883) - you deserved it (26473)
On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13883) - you deserved it (26473)
On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34248) - you deserved it (2508)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34248) - you deserved it (2508)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States
Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28525) - you deserved it (10416)
On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States
Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23192) - you deserved it (17395)
On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)
Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31442) - you deserved it (2151)
On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31442) - you deserved it (2151)
On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32559) - you deserved it (2035)
On 01/14/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by frownyface - United States (Arizona)
Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35349) - you deserved it (2761)
On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States
Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21601) - you deserved it (2772)
On 01/13/2012 at 5:47am - intimacy - by doctorsandnurses (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
