Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Hikarishimizu

Offline (yesterday at 10:04am) | Search for a member

Hikarishimizu

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12737
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About Hikarishimizu : I'm 14. Life sucks at this age. :/

Hikarishimizu's page activity

Visits<b>dancer824</b> - yesterday at 7:49am<b>Akay4</b> - yesterday at 6:53am<b>seemetrot</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:11pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 7:27am<b>Kyuzomi</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 6:51am<b>loveisthewah</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 3:06am<b>underguarded</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 2:51am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 8:43pm<b>MsMourningStar</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 4:35pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:48pm<b>CodingSquirrel</b> - the 12/12/2010 at 3:57pm

Hikarishimizu's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of Hikarishimizu's badges

Hikarishimizu's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40876) - you deserved it (9487)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42399) - you deserved it (13758)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38194) - you deserved it (6002)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37428) - you deserved it (8207)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

#21237384
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33644) - you deserved it (4555)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:06am - animals - by hopeless romantic - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40554) - you deserved it (25552)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47972) - you deserved it (5560)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51234) - you deserved it (20948)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38584) - you deserved it (12822)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45334) - you deserved it (6966)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53981) - you deserved it (3652)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

#21223464
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21401) - you deserved it (62324)

On 07/29/2014 at 3:58am - misc - by jayswizzle89 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: