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About Hikarishimizu : I'm 14. Life sucks at this age. :/
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4355) - you deserved it (8272)
On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4155) - you deserved it (10261)
On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1968) - you deserved it (7077)
On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of a female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9216) - you deserved it (770)
On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five minutes, so no, you can't go upstairs for a quickie". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16448) - you deserved it (3950)
On 04/04/2012 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by KatieB (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5099) - you deserved it (2311)
On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States
Today, I saw an article about how some people think internet access is more important than sex. I asked my boyfriend which he thought was more important. He chose internet access. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11643) - you deserved it (3962)
On 03/21/2012 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by justwow (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6651) - you deserved it (1448)
On 03/07/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Sharibabi65 (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7853) - you deserved it (1197)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26768) - you deserved it (3744)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11301) - you deserved it (2172)
On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7505) - you deserved it (1239)
On 02/02/2012 at 4:31am - intimacy - by DieTrying - United States (California)
Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20266) - you deserved it (2315)
On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6001) - you deserved it (1995)
On 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by idrathernotgiveoutmyname (woman) - Canada
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21579) - you deserved it (3392)
On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States
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