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Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 7:55pm) | Search for a member
About Hidur : After browsing FML for years and, lately, seeing all the amusing comments, I've decided to cave and make an account.
Survivor of the Mayflower.
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Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Monday 1 September 2014