HeyJordyn

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HeyJordyn

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 February 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 694
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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HeyJordyn's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:10pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 06/17/2011 at 1:29pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:47am<b>prettypink786</b> - the 11/22/2010 at 11:43pm

HeyJordyn's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

HeyJordyn's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 5:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

by notinflammable / 06/27/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

by prostate / 06/08/2009 at 9:48am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

by BW / 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy