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HeyJordyn

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HeyJordyn
  • Town/Country : Sandusky, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 February 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 313
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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HeyJordyn's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

#13559273
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32132) - you deserved it (7945)

On 10/23/2010 at 5:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6236) - you deserved it (87715)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59629) - you deserved it (5658)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

#2697150
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64963) - you deserved it (5052)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - intimacy - by BW (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

#2147353
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75432) - you deserved it (35559)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59495) - you deserved it (15536)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (203561) - you deserved it (59421)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)



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