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About HeretoBlame : yawn...
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45418) - you deserved it (5162)
On 06/11/2011 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, after spending thousands of dollars and several years pursuing a higher education so I could get a high paying job doing something that requires skill and brainpower, I finally got my first job offer after months of searching. I will be cleaning houses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25396) - you deserved it (3606)
On 06/07/2011 at 1:05pm - work - by disappointed (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23512) - you deserved it (4540)
On 01/12/2011 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19902) - you deserved it (3960)
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55233) - you deserved it (2616)
On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15415) - you deserved it (7766)
On 12/05/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28030) - you deserved it (4026)
On 12/04/2010 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, someone whistled, so I turned around. The guy behind me then said: "Did you seriously think that it was meant for you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26719) - you deserved it (3163)
On 09/12/2010 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29809) - you deserved it (7444)
On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)
Today, my family and I argued whether getting a period or boner in the middle of class was worse. At the dinner table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19826) - you deserved it (9531)
On 09/10/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Me - United States (Washington)
Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7076) - you deserved it (29618)
On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then, I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21894) - you deserved it (5053)
On 08/30/2010 at 4:10pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33331) - you deserved it (9129)
On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7037) - you deserved it (56249)
On 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by captainocd - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19651) - you deserved it (35892)
On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)
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