About HelplessSerenade : I play a ton of video games, reading is a passion for me, and I can engross myself in various novels. I do judge a book by its cover, literally. I'm not much of a grammar nazi, I like to relax and watch movies with my dog. Horror movies classify as my comedies. And if you need to pm me then give it a shot I'll get to it eventually.
Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25657) - you deserved it (5292)
On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24260) - you deserved it (2401)
On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)
Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13083) - you deserved it (3650)
On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17446) - you deserved it (3160)
On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States
Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40972) - you deserved it (2667)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by AllegroRubato (man) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)
Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8296) - you deserved it (10148)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:12am - love - by superminty - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15117) - you deserved it (2856)
On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8181) - you deserved it (14780)
On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36483) - you deserved it (9578)
On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (25201)
On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23141) - you deserved it (3234)
On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)
Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23660) - you deserved it (2154)
On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21569) - you deserved it (1650)
On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17951) - you deserved it (3067) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)
Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20463) - you deserved it (4602)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Ceej - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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