HelplessSerenade

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HelplessSerenade

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 November 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3231
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelplessSerenade : I play a ton of video games, reading is a passion for me, and I can engross myself in various novels. I do judge a book by its cover, literally. I'm not much of a grammar nazi, I like to relax and watch movies with my dog. Horror movies classify as my comedies. And if you need to pm me then give it a shot I'll get to it eventually.

HelplessSerenade's page activity

Visits<b>Marsgrover</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 10:02pm<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 11:36am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 1:44pm<b>Saxicolous</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 6:42pm<b>jill97</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 6:14am<b>Zeroace</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 1:35pm<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 5:59pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:32pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 12:37am<b>Tthug</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 7:58pm<b>snowflake6666</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 10:25pm<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:09am<b>the_rad_brad47</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:36pm<b>LegitxNuke</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 12:03am<b>ripjawed</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 7:31pm<b>bjhhjh</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 1:32am<b>Gingerbreadman1</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 11:40pm<b>bagofpopkern</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 6:39pm

Fucked!<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 5:36pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 7:43pm

HelplessSerenade's FML badges

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I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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HelplessSerenade's favorite FMLs

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

by FUCK GOD / 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm / Argentina (Salta) / Love

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

by Denki / 01/30/2013 at 7:21am / China (Beijing) / Love

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

by chase / 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

by airbiscuit / 01/21/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

by SF49 / 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm / United States / Health

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

by WTF / 01/16/2013 at 2:52am / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML

by georgiamarshall_ / 01/09/2013 at 5:42am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 6:16am / United States (Washington) / Health