About Helbo : I eat children's souls.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24828) - you deserved it (21136)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I admitted to my mother that I've had sex with my boyfriend. She seemed to handle it well, but when my boyfriend came over, she condemned him to hell in between asking him what he would like to have for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19032) - you deserved it (7421)
On 09/12/2010 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31148) - you deserved it (7587)
On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)
Today, I was moving. While packing, I found an old photo that had been laying face down in the bottom of a drawer for some time, and some of the ink transfered to the drawer lining. There is now an image of my ex-girlfriend's face permanently burned into the bottom of my nightstand drawer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21870) - you deserved it (4657)
On 09/11/2010 at 12:53am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, 50,000 copies of the new edition of the town's phone book came out. I manage a pizza place and bought a full menu ad. Apparently the ad designer got confused, as they placed my cell phone number in huge bold letters at the bottom of the ad instead of the store's phone number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25624) - you deserved it (2362)
On 09/07/2010 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, after doing it with my girlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21553) - you deserved it (6850)
On 09/05/2010 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29726) - you deserved it (1717)
Today, I was in the airport after saying goodbye to my boyfriend who left for three months. Walking back to my car, I saw a young couple kissing passionately. If that wasn't bad enough, the guy then picked his girlfriend up, spun her round in the air and her foot kicked me square in the jaw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29722) - you deserved it (2780)
On 09/01/2010 at 9:50am - love - by ouch (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)
Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24819) - you deserved it (8361)
On 08/30/2010 at 3:55pm - misc - by Shelby (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32871) - you deserved it (11290)
On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25135) - you deserved it (5024)
On 08/28/2010 at 12:19pm - love - by doesntkissalot - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21847) - you deserved it (6377)
On 08/27/2010 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by gleefan116 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24741) - you deserved it (3570)
On 08/24/2010 at 12:01pm - health - by prego - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31181) - you deserved it (5737)
On 08/19/2010 at 1:26am - love - by Single - United States (California)
Today, I was watching TV when a Toy Story 3 commercial came on. My Mom said, "Oh, I remember when I took you to see Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so are you. The only difference is Andy is going to college and you're not." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13442) - you deserved it (36671)
On 08/11/2010 at 9:55pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Friday 24 May 2013
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