Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HeatherFeatherB

Online | Search for a member

HeatherFeatherB

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 22 August 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1632
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

HeatherFeatherB's page activity

Visits<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 8:39pm<b>LuckBeNimble</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 3:42am<b>windell</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 10:34pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:22am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 4:29pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 3:02pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:29am<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 7:26am<b>ZtheSOA</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 5:26pm<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 2:36am<b>curticus</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 2:20am<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:18am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 10:19am<b>loveexgirl</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 5:51am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 5:57pm<b>supersavvy</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 6:29am<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 5:41am<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 2:31am

HeatherFeatherB's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of HeatherFeatherB's badges

HeatherFeatherB's favorite FMLs

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24623) - you deserved it (10171)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, I overheard my co-workers talking about how they don't need flu shots because everyone else gets them. These people are in the medical industry. FML

#21286250
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28600) - you deserved it (2791)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40am - work - by Silbax1 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31303) - you deserved it (14386)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, my Spanish teacher told me that the reason the girl I'm tutoring hasn't contacted me yet is because she emailed the teacher saying she didn't like my name, therefore she didn't want me to be her tutor. FML

#21268609
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32612) - you deserved it (2413)

On 09/30/2014 at 10:05pm - misc - by Hi, I'm Heather - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

#21266558
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30367) - you deserved it (5551)

On 09/27/2014 at 7:55pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML

#21265697
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30834) - you deserved it (5759)

On 09/26/2014 at 9:03am - work - by dicksonthebrain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while on the bus, a friendly-looking guy smiled at me, so I smiled back. He then pointed at my teeth and said, "You gonna get those fixed, or just keep them as a conversation starter?" FML

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

#21256123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36739) - you deserved it (2888)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:49am - work - by PerfectVision (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41313) - you deserved it (3213)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40452) - you deserved it (4650)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

#21242471
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35545) - you deserved it (3427)

On 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49134) - you deserved it (21240)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: