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Headcrab

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Headcrab

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 June 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1039
  • Number of comments : 266
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Headcrab : I sit on your head and make you go zombie

Headcrab's page activity

Visits<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:18pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 6:44pm<b>NotAUser</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 9:38pm<b>jjwong</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 7:29am<b>MrDonSalvetti</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 7:30pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 2:11pm<b>dixie217</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 11:36pm<b>mazzy789</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 11:24pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 4:04pm<b>ComradeNeal</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 7:24am<b>Honiebun</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 4:56pm<b>HotxIcex331</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:55pm<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 4:08pm<b>TheStranger153</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:25pm<b>nubbles10</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 1:21pm<b>WeskersSexslave</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 6:43am<b>Waspinator1998</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 4:34am<b>JVVortex</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 1:50am

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Headcrab's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss made me cover for him by working two extra hours, because he had to rush home early to deal with an "emergency". The emergency was taking a shit, because he claims to have a phobia of doing them anywhere but at home. FML

#20967954
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36240) - you deserved it (3301)

On 11/23/2013 at 1:33pm - work - by AFSDALK:AFSDQWE (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, I failed hard at a color test. I thought it was a joke because most of the colors looked the same to me. Now I know why people laugh at my clothes color choices. FML

#20936339
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45065) - you deserved it (3130)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's freshly-repainted car got keyed. He's literally more of an inconsolable wreck now than he was when his own mother passed away last year. When I tried hinting that he was overreacting, he told me to go to hell. FML

#20861652
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37267) - you deserved it (8570)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61211) - you deserved it (9114)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

#20668592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45832) - you deserved it (2916)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States

Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML

#20638777
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64952) - you deserved it (7893)

On 05/03/2013 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML

#20630234
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41787) - you deserved it (3555)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, after paying for my groceries, I noticed that a bread-roll hadn't been charged. I felt guilty and went back to the register to pay for it. The cashier burst into derisive laughter and mockingly asked me if I was "running for Pope or something". FML

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20481) - you deserved it (59867)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I attended my first surgery as part of my program at med school. I found out that when I see someone's intestines, I vomit. Even if I'm still wearing a surgical mask. There goes the thousands of dollars I spent on college. FML

#20495058
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27993) - you deserved it (5969)

On 02/05/2013 at 10:08pm - health - by A troubled ex med school student - United States (Ohio)

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25028) - you deserved it (48078)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

#20174722
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47220) - you deserved it (14005)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26222) - you deserved it (3040)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)



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