About Headcrab : I sit on your head and make you go zombie
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27430) - you deserved it (1564)
On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States
Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56190) - you deserved it (6511)
On 05/03/2013 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8572) - you deserved it (47588)
On 05/01/2013 at 5:33pm - health - by QueenOrangeSoda (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36721) - you deserved it (2862)
On 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48609) - you deserved it (9365)
On 04/25/2013 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Live Sweet -
Today, after paying for my groceries, I noticed that a bread-roll hadn't been charged. I felt guilty and went back to the register to pay for it. The cashier burst into derisive laughter and mockingly asked me if I was "running for Pope or something". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29542) - you deserved it (5334)
On 04/07/2013 at 3:22pm - money - by moosy0_o (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14071) - you deserved it (49332)
On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, I attended my first surgery as part of my program at med school. I found out that when I see someone's intestines, I vomit. Even if I'm still wearing a surgical mask. There goes the thousands of dollars I spent on college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22342) - you deserved it (4861)
On 02/05/2013 at 10:08pm - health - by A troubled ex med school student - United States (Ohio)
Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18566) - you deserved it (33914)
On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36366) - you deserved it (9568)
On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5857) - you deserved it (24650)
On 04/05/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Badchristian (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized that my wife is such a bitch normally, she's actually nicer when she is on her period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28673) - you deserved it (6736)
On 07/09/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, an unpaid intern had his first day at my workplace of seven years. As a joke, my boss gave him the same challenge she gave me on my first day. The intern completed it in 37 minutes. We've always been told it's impossible. Guess we all have to start working harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9283) - you deserved it (25077)
On 05/09/2011 at 1:33pm - work - by 19apollo91 (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22736) - you deserved it (51254)
On 05/31/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by anonomus - United States (Virginia)
Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20521) - you deserved it (50197)
On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
