About Hazelino : i'm a proffesional conversationkiller
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Hazelino's favorite FMLs
Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML
by Username / 07/23/2011 at 5:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML
by lauramarie / 07/23/2011 at 10:18am / Canada / Kids
Today, I'm staying in a hotel where the lights are automatic. They turn on when something moves and turn off when everything is still. I'm a sensitive sleeper and I move in my sleep, so the light wakes me up. It's currently 2 a.m. and all together I've gotten about 20 minutes of sleep. FML
by someone / 07/23/2011 at 4:50am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 9:10pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I went to see a movie I'd been waiting months for. A couple of women sat down a few rows in front of me with five infants. The infants cried and wailed throughout. I'm not sure I have any idea what was actually said in any of the dialogue. FML
by AceGeek / 07/22/2011 at 7:49pm / United States (California) / Kids
by coffee girl / 07/22/2011 at 4:31pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Love
by MailMaster / 07/22/2011 at 12:20am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML
by Anonymous / 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
by ohmygosh / 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love
Today, my bike got stolen because I left my keys in the lock. On my way home, I saw my bike in front of a store, unlocked. I jumped on it, only to get punched in the face by the guy that had taken it, and got it stolen from me again. FML
by dullstuff / 07/21/2011 at 8:34am / Belgium (Liege) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 07/21/2011 at 7:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting waiting for my train for a long while. When it finally came, I had pins and needles in my foot. When I got up, I fell and unsuccessfully stumbled towards the train. The doors closed and it left without me. FML
by Anonymous / 07/21/2011 at 6:43am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
by cheddar / 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed… Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts… Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was…