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Hazelino

Offline (the 08/11/2014 at 1:26pm) | Search for a member

Hazelino

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Hazelino
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 September 1988 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1481
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Hazelino : i'm a proffesional conversationkiller

Hazelino's page activity

Visits<b>Liiiiiiiiike</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:56am<b>okcnation</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:37am<b>Uglyfeet</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 9:57am<b>callmeDoug</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 3:35pm<b>eddie1122</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 5:45pm<b>nowNlaterKid</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:06am<b>dubfan24</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 12:53am<b>KeepItTrill</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 9:56pm<b>Lumen94</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 1:07pm<b>MissBubblesXoxo</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 10:12am<b>emily1015</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 11:56pm<b>NothingIsTrue</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 10:56am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 4:22am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 3:02am<b>kmcruz417</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:59am<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:57am<b>isaidwutwut</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:59pm<b>Wabbajack789</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 7:51pm

Hazelino's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Hazelino's badges

Hazelino's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

#20987856
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50034) - you deserved it (9733)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45045) - you deserved it (4770)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

#20902940
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40526) - you deserved it (6287)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:36am - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

#20899471
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61357) - you deserved it (7209)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by :( (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I bought some makeup supplies at the supermarket. The cashier snorted and muttered, "Not enough in the world for you." FML

#20756122
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43973) - you deserved it (3500)

On 06/30/2013 at 2:09pm - misc - by foreversingle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

#20739340
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40213) - you deserved it (2835)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I told my friend, who's a marriage counsellor, about some of the things my husband does that I hate, like snoring loudly and eating with his mouth open. I wasn't asking for advice, but she just looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Divorce." Bye-bye, faith in humanity. FML

#20727839
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35692) - you deserved it (5117)

On 06/15/2013 at 5:08pm - misc - by ineedbetterfriends (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

#20639737
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58899) - you deserved it (3396)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

#20639737
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58899) - you deserved it (3396)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

#20639737
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58899) - you deserved it (3396)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

#20639737
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58899) - you deserved it (3396)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

#20639737
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58899) - you deserved it (3396)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

#17380404
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34715) - you deserved it (3349)

On 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I was directing traffic at work during one of the hottest days of the year. Not only do I have to stand in the heat and exhaust fumes for minimum wage, I also had to endure people asking me "Aren't you hot?" as they drove past me in their air conditioned cars. FML

#17233240
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28975) - you deserved it (3215)

On 07/23/2011 at 8:01pm - work - by Sarah - Canada (Ontario)



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