HazelXHeart

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HazelXHeart

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9768
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HazelXHeart : Hey there :) Vegan pizza is AWESOME!!!

HazelXHeart's page activity

Visits<b>ForeverHoosier</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 8:32am<b>flupsht</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 8:56pm<b>MickKey</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 3:55pm<b>plainoldLyss</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 3:42pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 11:33am<b>thatgirl139</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 2:12pm<b>mikky8484</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:27am<b>Reva750</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:13am<b>Trollx</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:10am<b>Inframidi</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 10:55am<b>tunergurl</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 10:39am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 12:56am<b>Faith13</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 11:21pm<b>sharkattacks</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 2:06pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 05/22/2012 at 12:26am<b>raudrohi</b> - the 01/31/2012 at 3:23pm

HazelXHeart's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of HazelXHeart's badges

HazelXHeart's favorite FMLs

Today, after a great treadmill run at my gym, I noticed a stain on my clothing. Apparently my nipple chafed so badly that it bled through my white t-shirt, and I'd walked around the gym completely oblivious. FML

by sorenips / 10/03/2011 at 7:19pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, I finally got the nerve to tell my parents that I'm no longer going to pay them a flat percent of my salary, but only what they need to cover my expenses. Their response: "Better find a place of your own then, you freeloading bastard." FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2011 at 4:49pm / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

by Username / 10/03/2011 at 1:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work being a waitress, this lady came in and requested to sit in the section I was waitressing. She held up a $100 bill and told me that if I was attentive to her needs, she would leave me a $100 tip. Excited, I waited on her hand and foot. She dined and dashed. FML

by moodyreallyrocks / 10/03/2011 at 9:05am / United States (Kentucky) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

by TheAnnoyedNeighbor / 10/03/2011 at 2:08am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

by Kayt / 10/03/2011 at 12:38am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML

by therevsev / 10/02/2011 at 2:05am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

by katt_is_here / 10/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Colorado) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was babysitting a young boy. I accidentally let a few words slip when I dropped something. He won't stop dropping the F bomb and his mother is coming to get him in the morning. FML

by Kelly / 10/02/2011 at 12:53am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

by FirstStringQB / 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2011 at 12:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while taking a shower, my back hair caused so much friction against the bar of soap, it stuck for a good second before coming free. FML

by soapy / 10/01/2011 at 12:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticed the cashier had what looked like a golf ball stuffed in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML

by lollipopgreen / 10/01/2011 at 8:33am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2011 at 7:44am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous