Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HazelXHeart

Search for a member

HazelXHeart

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4612
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HazelXHeart : Hey there :) Vegan pizza is AWESOME!!!

HazelXHeart's page activity

Visits<b>ForeverHoosier</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 8:32am<b>flupsht</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 8:56pm<b>MickKey</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 3:55pm<b>plainoldLyss</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 3:42pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 11:33am<b>thatgirl139</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 2:12pm<b>mikky8484</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:27am<b>Reva750</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:13am<b>Trollx</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:10am<b>Inframidi</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 10:55am<b>tunergurl</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 10:39am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 12:56am<b>Faith13</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 11:21pm<b>sharkattacks</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 2:06pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 05/22/2012 at 12:26am<b>raudrohi</b> - the 01/31/2012 at 3:23pm

HazelXHeart's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of HazelXHeart's badges

HazelXHeart's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML

#17935197
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14067) - you deserved it (39107)

On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)

Today, I spent about 10 minutes searching frantically for my cell phone, while holding it up to my ear and talking to my friend about my plans tonight. FML

#17934775
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9597) - you deserved it (37245)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got my first job after having spent months looking, and graduating college in the meantime. I got it based on my pre-college qualifications. FML

#17928549
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21809) - you deserved it (2834)

On 10/07/2011 at 3:32pm - work - by jdmarine83 - United States

Today, I got my first job after having spent months looking, and graduating college in the meantime. I got it based on my pre-college qualifications. FML

#17928549
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21809) - you deserved it (2834)

On 10/07/2011 at 3:32pm - work - by jdmarine83 - United States

Today, I listened as my ridiculously wealthy friend excitedly rambled on and on about her latest shopping trip. This is the same friend who owes me £150, and accused me of being insensitive for asking her to repay it at some point. FML

#17928398
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26866) - you deserved it (3531)

On 10/07/2011 at 3:02pm - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was pulled over by the police. The cop was my ex-boyfriend. He had no legitimate reason to pull me over, so he thoroughly checked my car. He gave me a defect notice and a fine. What for? A broken door lock, on my rear passenger door. FML

#17927232
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30494) - you deserved it (3940)

On 10/07/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by jkass - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML

#17927200
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25646) - you deserved it (3176)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:58am - work - by Dr.Octopus454 (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

#17926318
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22874) - you deserved it (15571)

On 10/07/2011 at 6:35am - misc - by Hairytoes - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML

#17926185
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39097) - you deserved it (3079)

On 10/07/2011 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my future mother-in-law gave me advice on life. One piece of advice was that I should leave her son. FML

#17925802
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26348) - you deserved it (2272)

On 10/07/2011 at 2:41am - love - by andy1r (woman) - Bolivia (El Beni)

Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML

#17925630
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32476) - you deserved it (1952)

On 10/07/2011 at 1:55am - work - by bdjsbskl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally found the courage to tell my drug addict husband that I'm leaving him. He sat in his chair, denying using drugs, ever. Right after he said this, he passed out and spilled hot coffee on himself. He then denied spilling the coffee. As I was leaving, he took all of my shoes. FML

#17924214
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30408) - you deserved it (2956)

On 10/06/2011 at 10:53pm - love - by stacyyvonne - United States (Florida)

Today, I was asked if my bellybutton was an 'innie' or an 'outtie.' My bellybutton has been hidden by fat for so long that I couldn't remember. FML

#17922863
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10298) - you deserved it (36781)

On 10/06/2011 at 8:40pm - misc - by knzknz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML

#17920889
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38626) - you deserved it (6142)

On 10/06/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

#17919622
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38733) - you deserved it (9989)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: