Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HazelXHeart

Search for a member

HazelXHeart

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5037
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HazelXHeart : Hey there :) Vegan pizza is AWESOME!!!

HazelXHeart's page activity

Visits<b>ForeverHoosier</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 8:32am<b>flupsht</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 8:56pm<b>MickKey</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 3:55pm<b>plainoldLyss</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 3:42pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 11:33am<b>thatgirl139</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 2:12pm<b>mikky8484</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:27am<b>Reva750</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:13am<b>Trollx</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:10am<b>Inframidi</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 10:55am<b>tunergurl</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 10:39am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 12:56am<b>Faith13</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 11:21pm<b>sharkattacks</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 2:06pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 05/22/2012 at 12:26am<b>raudrohi</b> - the 01/31/2012 at 3:23pm

HazelXHeart's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of HazelXHeart's badges

HazelXHeart's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

#17982026
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37525) - you deserved it (2915)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML

#17981925
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27848) - you deserved it (2151)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by francesa_loca - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32937) - you deserved it (10792)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML

#17981728
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32180) - you deserved it (2069)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:09am - health - by Nixontones - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, a customer asked for my number. When I declined, he made a huge scene, shouting and scaring other customers. He tipped me seven cents. FML

#17980865
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22061) - you deserved it (2162)

On 10/14/2011 at 5:35am - work - by scribbler8 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my students took my glasses, hid them from me, and called me a turtle when I squinted my eyes trying to look for them. This carried on for about 25 minutes. FML

#17980365
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25130) - you deserved it (3557)

On 10/14/2011 at 2:09am - kids - by TurtleTeacher (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML

#17979790
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18208) - you deserved it (49603)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by happybudiess - United States

Today, my dad took my phone away. This would be fine if I was 14. I'm 22 and pay for all of my own bills. FML

#17977138
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29271) - you deserved it (4238)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64042) - you deserved it (3199)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64042) - you deserved it (3199)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the student council gave us our senior class t-shirts. Our theme this year is "Striving for Excellence." Excellence was misspelled. FML

#17975485
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22597) - you deserved it (2557)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:27pm - misc - by brit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

#17974807
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49147) - you deserved it (5586)

On 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

#17974807
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49147) - you deserved it (5586)

On 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

#17974587
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20897) - you deserved it (2457)

On 10/13/2011 at 11:55am - animals - by Doglover - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML

#17974360
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24626) - you deserved it (1987)

On 10/13/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by pillowless (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: