Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HazelXHeart

Search for a member

HazelXHeart

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4608
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HazelXHeart : Hey there :) Vegan pizza is AWESOME!!!

HazelXHeart's page activity

Visits<b>ForeverHoosier</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 8:32am<b>flupsht</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 8:56pm<b>MickKey</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 3:55pm<b>plainoldLyss</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 3:42pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 11:33am<b>thatgirl139</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 2:12pm<b>mikky8484</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:27am<b>Reva750</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:13am<b>Trollx</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:10am<b>Inframidi</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 10:55am<b>tunergurl</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 10:39am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 12:56am<b>Faith13</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 11:21pm<b>sharkattacks</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 2:06pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 05/22/2012 at 12:26am<b>raudrohi</b> - the 01/31/2012 at 3:23pm

HazelXHeart's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of HazelXHeart's badges

HazelXHeart's favorite FMLs

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

#17996037
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35392) - you deserved it (4979)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was watching my cousin shoot at targets on hay bales with his plastic pellet BB gun. After my sister asked him if it would hurt to be shot with one, my cousin smiled at her and said, "Ask your sister" as he shot me in the leg. I think my screaming was obvious enough. It hurts. FML

#17995977
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26229) - you deserved it (2819)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:06am - misc - by ThanksChris (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

#17994746
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36693) - you deserved it (4723)

On 10/16/2011 at 12:22am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while jogging in the park, I saw a man acting strange and trying to talk to 3 little girls. I jogged over to their mother and warned her about a 'weirdo' lurking around her daughters. Turns out that 'weirdo' is the woman's disabled brother. FML

Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML

#17992894
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7465) - you deserved it (62147)

On 10/15/2011 at 8:47pm - misc - by mass message (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was kicked out of the mall along with a bunch of my friends, sworn at by the security guards, and personally escorted all the way to the sidewalk, only to find out we'd been mistaken for another group of people. FML

#17992397
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27278) - you deserved it (2201)

On 10/15/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by -- - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

#17989700
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26999) - you deserved it (4611)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - kids - by myfamilyisodd (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw my boyfriend of a year kissing another girl. When I walked up to confront him about it, he tried to convince the other girl he didn't know who I was. FML

#17989698
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39240) - you deserved it (2832)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML

#17988590
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31883) - you deserved it (2665)

On 10/15/2011 at 10:02am - health - by KilteDKilleR - United States (Utah)

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

#17987492
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42122) - you deserved it (3469)

On 10/15/2011 at 3:18am - misc - by Ca13b - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML

#17987408
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35726) - you deserved it (7514)

On 10/15/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML

#17986846
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37010) - you deserved it (3120)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Ania (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my balls were stepped on while I was taking a nap in the park. The man said he didn't see me lying there. I was wearing a neon orange jacket. FML

#17986528
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27354) - you deserved it (10386)

On 10/15/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by dak-rod423 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I made a half-hour bike ride to the movie store, only to realize I'd forgotten my money. I made the ride back home, grabbed my money, went back to the store, paid, then made a second ride home. I got home exhausted, and opened the case. They gave me the wrong movie. FML

#17986367
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30680) - you deserved it (5418)

On 10/15/2011 at 12:12am - misc - by CPD - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML

#17985253
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12361) - you deserved it (36029)

On 10/14/2011 at 9:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: