About HazelXHeart : Hey there :) Vegan pizza is AWESOME!!!
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HazelXHeart's favorite FMLs
Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML
by Missy / 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé has been jumping out of closets and from around corners with a video camera, trying to catch me naked. He says he wants to post a video online so his old high school friends can "rate" me. I'm now afraid to get intimate, shower, or even change my clothes in my own home. FML
by Anonymous / 10/19/2011 at 2:19pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by ikickgingers / 10/19/2011 at 12:49pm / United States / Work
by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML
by targe / 10/19/2011 at 5:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by derbyboy / 10/19/2011 at 1:38am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Work
Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2011 at 3:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by KillMeNow / 10/18/2011 at 12:08pm / United Kingdom (Sefton) / Kids
by Tony / 10/18/2011 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous
by imy / 10/18/2011 at 11:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by stdpositivenow / 10/18/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by STIdiot / 10/17/2011 at 8:12am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my landlord compared me to his idiot son for not plunging a toilet. This is the same toilet he explicitly told me not to plunge last week, because of a possible leak into the basement. We have been peeing outside for a week waiting on him. FML
by Carl / 10/16/2011 at 8:47am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took the train to visit my parents, which arrives late at night. As I was getting off, the cute guy in front of me looked out the window, then turned to me and said, "Doesn't that guy out there give you the creeps?" That guy was my dad. FML
by DaddysGirl / 10/16/2011 at 6:36am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…