HazelXHeart

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HazelXHeart

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11321
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HazelXHeart : Hey there :) Vegan pizza is AWESOME!!!

HazelXHeart's page activity

Visits<b>ForeverHoosier</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 8:32am<b>flupsht</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 8:56pm<b>MickKey</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 3:55pm<b>plainoldLyss</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 3:42pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 11:33am<b>thatgirl139</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 2:12pm<b>mikky8484</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:27am<b>Reva750</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:13am<b>Trollx</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:10am<b>Inframidi</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 10:55am<b>tunergurl</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 10:39am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 12:56am<b>Faith13</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 11:21pm<b>sharkattacks</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 2:06pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 05/22/2012 at 12:26am<b>raudrohi</b> - the 01/31/2012 at 3:23pm

HazelXHeart's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of HazelXHeart's badges

HazelXHeart's favorite FMLs

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, it took me and my husband three hours to put our new book shelves together. It took our cat all of three seconds to knock it all down. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 2:58pm / United States (Maryland) / Animals

Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML

by DMStarsky / 10/21/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

by prostitutes boyfriend / 10/21/2011 at 10:55am / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy

Today, I called my very overprotective father, and he took the time to tell me how proud he was of me for finally finding a good and respectable boyfriend. And that he was sorry he misjudged. I was calling for bail money to get my "good, respectable" boyfriend out of jail. FML

by hatetodisappoint / 10/21/2011 at 2:32am / United States / Love

Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML

by Dv0829 / 10/21/2011 at 1:42am / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML

by crankg / 10/21/2011 at 12:57am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML

by skinny dipper / 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

by box bulge / 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm / China / Health

Today, I paid $70 to learn from the vet that my cat doesn't have a UTI, he's just developed a fetish for peeing on plastic bags. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2011 at 9:13pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML

by cmd102 / 10/20/2011 at 5:18pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm / Ireland (Meath) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister finally broke down and told me that our dad gambled away of all my college savings, and I would have to pay for school the best way I can. They have known for months, and when I asked why nobody told me, the reply was, "You're a college boy, we thought you would figure it out." FML

by FATS DOMINO / 10/20/2011 at 11:39am / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML

by Awie / 10/20/2011 at 4:26am / Austria (Wien) / Love

Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to my lectures is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML

by Habit / 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Work