About Hazardsoflove : Just a kid on a midnight adventure.
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Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22214) - you deserved it (10535)
On 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52594) - you deserved it (3653)
On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36144) - you deserved it (6514)
On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30475) - you deserved it (44248)
On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33037) - you deserved it (21157) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
I agree, your life sucks (92448) - you deserved it (10800)
On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30297) - you deserved it (49855)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40589) - you deserved it (13621)
On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31801) - you deserved it (10687)
On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31237) - you deserved it (5741)
On 08/19/2010 at 1:26am - love - by Single - United States (California)
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24144) - you deserved it (21527)
On 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15039) - you deserved it (44213)
On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14777) - you deserved it (18273)
On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39438) - you deserved it (10328)
On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I learned my boyfriend had another girlfriend, his excuse was he was bipolar and each of his personalities need a girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33976) - you deserved it (3527)
On 05/20/2010 at 1:12am - love - by life sucks - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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