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Harry641's FML badges
One ring to rule them all
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Harry641's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
by mimi / 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Branman2480 / 09/19/2011 at 1:09am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML
by Japaroni / 09/15/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my obnoxious mother-in-law berated me in front of my husband's family for still working while pregnant. She says I'm harming the baby by not quitting. I'm only 4 months pregnant and I work as a nurse at a hospital. FML
by monsterinlaw / 08/23/2011 at 10:51am / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
Today, my grandmother sat me down and gave me a talk about the importance of personal hygiene. According to her, it's important that I shower twice a day, because "Fat people tend to have a most curious smell about them." FML
by Username / 08/19/2011 at 8:22pm / United States / Health
by nerofirst / 08/19/2011 at 9:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML
by Musicfan / 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
by Liz / 08/10/2011 at 10:21pm / United States / Work
Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML
by jshi8 / 08/04/2011 at 10:35am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by SydIsPrettyCool / 08/04/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals
Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML
by Anonymous / 07/08/2011 at 11:46am / Belgium (Liege) / Health
by hunter168647 / 07/02/2011 at 1:50am / United States (Georgia) / Money
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
by zain / 06/04/2011 at 2:15am / United States (Texas) / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…