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Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25210) - you deserved it (4142)
On 09/28/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
I agree, your life sucks (9374) - you deserved it (21410)
On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)
Today, while I was working at the golf course, two kids stole a golf cart and pulled a snowboard behind it. When I tried to stop them, they ran me over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18055) - you deserved it (2675)
On 09/19/2011 at 1:09am - work - by Branman2480 - United States (New York)
Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14656) - you deserved it (6224)
On 09/15/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Japaroni - United States
Today, my obnoxious mother-in-law berated me in front of my husband's family for still working while pregnant. She says I'm harming the baby by not quitting. I'm only 4 months pregnant and I work as a nurse at a hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23502) - you deserved it (1538)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:51am - health - by monsterinlaw (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my grandmother sat me down and gave me a talk about the importance of personal hygiene. According to her, it's important that I shower twice a day, because "Fat people tend to have a most curious smell about them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22058) - you deserved it (9694)
On 08/19/2011 at 8:22pm - health - by Username - United States
Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22322) - you deserved it (4269)
On 08/19/2011 at 9:40am - intimacy - by nerofirst - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21966) - you deserved it (2345)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (2818)
On 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm - money - by Musicfan - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boss became very angry over her own mistake on a spreadsheet. She lashed out by throwing a can of SpaghettiOs at my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22141) - you deserved it (1572)
On 08/10/2011 at 10:21pm - work - by Liz - United States
Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7841) - you deserved it (53740)
On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)
Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37661) - you deserved it (2158)
On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32798) - you deserved it (1679) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/08/2011 at 11:46am - health - by Anonymous - Belgium (Liege)
Today, I bought an otter box. While setting up my iPhone, I dropped it and it is now shattered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17855) - you deserved it (6795)
On 07/02/2011 at 1:50am - money - by hunter168647 - United States (Georgia)
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37820) - you deserved it (2535)
On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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