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Harry641's FML badges
One ring to rule them all
You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Harry641's favorite FMLs
Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML
by klanciee / 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
by Anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm / Nigeria (Lagos) / Miscellaneous
by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML
by Lyn / 07/06/2012 at 6:14pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 1:01pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
by needmorelocks / 07/03/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by nobrony / 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML
by justhelpful / 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm / Austria (Tirol) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by really / 06/21/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by ww2freak / 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was driving in a straight line on a completely deserted road in the open bush. I sneezed… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to…