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Harry641's favorite FMLs
by uselessdad / 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm / Singapore / Kids
by ughno / 02/21/2010 at 2:50pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I had lunch with a co-worker, and after having a good talk and enjoying each others company, we got up to leave. Right before we said goodbye, she looked me right in the face and looking legitimately confused said "you know, I really don't understand why no one at work likes you." FML
by crazyclumzy / 02/04/2010 at 12:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started work as the head engineer for a big civil engineering project. I met the rest of my team, in particular the environmental engineer who I'll need to get along with the most. As it turns out, I took her virginity when we were freshmen in college. She still thinks I'm an asshole. FML
by CivE / 01/25/2010 at 8:32am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, while grooming my horse, a spider crawled onto my ear. As if that was bad enough, I'm extremely arachnophobic, so I shrieked out of habit, which in turn caused my horse to freak out and kick me. FML
by HOLYCOW / 01/22/2010 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2010 at 9:25pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML
by driver / 01/06/2010 at 9:55am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/05/2010 at 7:49am / India (Madhya Pradesh) / Miscellaneous
by thewallrules / 12/05/2009 at 9:10am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML
by jibberish / 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
by sad_dad / 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML
by Nobody / 10/10/2009 at 8:07am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by betchyo / 10/01/2009 at 2:10am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…