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Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52730) - you deserved it (5518)
On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)
Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29954) - you deserved it (16927)
On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -
Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25991) - you deserved it (5121)
On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)
Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26850) - you deserved it (4036)
On 03/24/2013 at 11:56am - kids - by Gixie (woman) - Ghana (Greater Accra)
Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31190) - you deserved it (1768)
On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34682) - you deserved it (3338)
On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States
Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20973) - you deserved it (6058)
On 02/28/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23707) - you deserved it (3419)
On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28117) - you deserved it (6231)
On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36533) - you deserved it (3191)
On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States
Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27142) - you deserved it (2823)
On 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by papersofdivorce (man) - Peru (Lima)
Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30665) - you deserved it (14295)
On 01/29/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by ohfuckwaffles (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29799) - you deserved it (1426)
On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20097) - you deserved it (1832)
On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21762) - you deserved it (1383)
On 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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