Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HarperGirl

Search for a member

HarperGirl

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 January 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8065
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About HarperGirl : Smart, Funny, Unique, and Sexy

HarperGirl's page activity

Visits<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:26pm<b>allie2590</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 8:59am<b>AlmightyZamorak</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:22pm<b>bkirky</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 1:34pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 10:29am<b>melons</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 6:49pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:32pm<b>threer</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 10:31pm<b>mollyjynxjax</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:01pm<b>ToxicSilence</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:13am<b>softballlyric</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 4:44pm<b>Replicakes</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 5:06pm<b>Godly_Taco</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 5:47am<b>Aeroxx1337</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 2:11am<b>TheApostate</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 5:53pm<b>miiapaige</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 7:55am<b>mangoboy1</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 6:43pm<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:14pm

HarperGirl's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of HarperGirl's badges

HarperGirl's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

#7232950
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19193) - you deserved it (5152)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:25am - intimacy - by ohdeargodthatswrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

#7225857
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18058) - you deserved it (5069)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfiend of nine months. She's making a lot of noise so I tell her to keep it down and remind her my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later I get a text from my sister saying my parents want to make sure I'm wearing a condom. FML

#7222558
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8185) - you deserved it (22685)

On 01/08/2010 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by awskme - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband is completely convinced that his taking a massive dump after being constipated is exactly like the time I gave birth to our twins. FML

#7215962
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30358) - you deserved it (3934)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realised that I have fallen for the most amazing girl. She's good looking, has a great personality, she's funny and is a hit with all my friends but she doesn't seem to realise she has a body odor problem. FML

#7207594
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26033) - you deserved it (5532)

On 01/07/2010 at 10:30pm - love - by DDubs (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

#7204414
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21556) - you deserved it (4535)

On 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by oopsies (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

#7203649
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26471) - you deserved it (3506)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, the doctor told me that I have Vasovagal Syncope: I pass out every time I get aroused. Bye bye sex. FML

#7198357
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37011) - you deserved it (2321)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by Sanchez (man) - United States

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to engage the child locks on the rear doors of my SUV. My SUV has a bolted cage for the dog separating the front from the back. Guess who was locked in their own car for 2 hours? FML

#7194644
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21928) - you deserved it (3643)

On 01/07/2010 at 3:31am - animals - by Archie (man) - United States (California)

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61361) - you deserved it (3022)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML

#7181113
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9150) - you deserved it (47260)

On 01/06/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by pinky (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML

#7162537
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19685) - you deserved it (3139)

On 01/05/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by me (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after my girlfriend telling me for years that she would marry me in a heartbeat, I finally proposed. She said no. FML

#7160237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38932) - you deserved it (3700)

On 01/05/2010 at 5:45am - love - by Chewy (man) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, it was the first time my boyfriend had seen me naked. He grabs my breasts and then begins to sing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." He is 22. FML

#7152531
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18565) - you deserved it (5264)

On 01/04/2010 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by ambermcnulty - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML

#7124750
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9132) - you deserved it (22714)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:40am - intimacy - by grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: