Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HarperGirl

Search for a member

HarperGirl

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 January 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8724
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About HarperGirl : Smart, Funny, Unique, and Sexy

HarperGirl's page activity

Visits<b>vashhybrid</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 4:57pm<b>Awesomeaxel</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:09am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:26pm<b>allie2590</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 8:59am<b>AlmightyZamorak</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:22pm<b>bkirky</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 1:34pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 10:29am<b>melons</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 6:49pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:32pm<b>threer</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 10:31pm<b>mollyjynxjax</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:01pm<b>ToxicSilence</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:13am<b>softballlyric</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 4:44pm<b>Replicakes</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 5:06pm<b>Godly_Taco</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 5:47am<b>Aeroxx1337</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 2:11am<b>TheApostate</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 5:53pm<b>miiapaige</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 7:55am

HarperGirl's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of HarperGirl's badges

HarperGirl's favorite FMLs

Today, I was helping my friend put up a wooden fence at his new house. I was holding the sections of fence up while he nailed them in with an air powered nail gun. The gun malfunctioned and fired twice putting the second nail through my hand and into the wood. We had to pry the nail out. FML

#7412536
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30592) - you deserved it (2385)

On 01/18/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Nissan_David (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend, who I've dated for 6 years, is getting engaged to my friend. The very same "friend" who's been encouraging me to break up with her for the past year. FML

#7396804
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33735) - you deserved it (2596)

On 01/17/2010 at 11:22am - love - by anonymous (man) - Austria (Steiermark)

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

#7293990
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25467) - you deserved it (8121)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML

#7287898
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8057) - you deserved it (34797)

On 01/11/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

#7286498
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26375) - you deserved it (2632)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

#7286498
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26375) - you deserved it (2632)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML

#7284485
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23274) - you deserved it (1848)

On 01/11/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by hateskool888581 (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

#7278236
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25533) - you deserved it (3086)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML

#7273590
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30926) - you deserved it (9769)

On 01/11/2010 at 3:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that pinching the tip of the condom before you roll it down to the base is NOT a suggestion. FML

#7268180
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5172) - you deserved it (20804)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Drewzter (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom explained the benefits of douching to me with my boyfriend right there. He began arguing with her about how the vagina is usually self-cleaning. FML

#7263265
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17417) - you deserved it (2034)

On 01/10/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by CD (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML

#7261053
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33786) - you deserved it (2647)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML

#7257583
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18475) - you deserved it (2980)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML

#7257345
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31717) - you deserved it (2815)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:17pm - kids - by Amber (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, two weeks after reporting our car was broken into, the police showed up to our flat. They came to inform us that our car was was broken into. We explained that we knew this and reported it weeks ago. Apparently, it was broken into again, and set on fire this time. FML

#7251449
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28709) - you deserved it (1731)

On 01/10/2010 at 2:01am - misc - by zenithbelana (woman) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: