[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

HarperGirl

Search for a member

HarperGirl
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 January 1992 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 3003
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About HarperGirl : Smart, Funny, Unique, and Sexy

HarperGirl's last visitors

FreezeMarcelbScaray_2_meillmatic2clusterfunguskwintersRedneck325Cigrv

HarperGirl's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of HarperGirl's badges

HarperGirl's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother said I am slipping too deep into depression since my boyfriend left for college in Fresno. Her solution: buying me a vibrator. FML

#17810951 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (18682) - you deserved it (4772)

On 09/23/2011 at 2:16am - intimacy - by kdmoney - United States (California)

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

#17795601 (335)

I agree, your life sucks (33726) - you deserved it (5535)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

#17789200 (326)

I agree, your life sucks (19305) - you deserved it (21217) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/20/2011 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by Prinpette - France

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (26429) - you deserved it (15667)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#17742540 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (2111)

On 09/14/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by jumpedjogger - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split second later, I realized I wasn't typing into the browser address bar, but in a chat window on my other screen. I'd been chatting with a girl I wanted to get with at the time. FML

#17719852 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (8956) - you deserved it (39649)

On 09/11/2011 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by Extended_desktop (man) - Poland

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her... Thanks dad. FML

#17709124 (599)

I agree, your life sucks (10214) - you deserved it (118371)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

#17655668 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (17582) - you deserved it (24465)

On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was DJing on a popular local radio station when a pop-up window appeared on the station's computer. Of all the possible sounds that could have played, it was a girl screaming in pleasure. It went out live on air. FML

#17635803 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (22401) - you deserved it (3915)

On 09/01/2011 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by djfail - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (16415) - you deserved it (6519)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

#17627685 (319)

I agree, your life sucks (11233) - you deserved it (35352)

On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, after using the bar of soap in the shower to wash my face, I looked down and noticed it was covered in my husband's pubes. FML

#17620959 (249)

I agree, your life sucks (8116) - you deserved it (2723)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by Nasty (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

#17619671 (305)

I agree, your life sucks (11777) - you deserved it (1344)

On 08/30/2011 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while standing in line at the video store, I happen to notice a very hot young girl on the TV screen, and mentioned to my friend that I'd "hit that." I was immediately punched by the girl in front of me. Seems the hot girl on TV was her on a security monitor. FML

#17609148 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (7611) - you deserved it (29135)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by helpless_soul - United States

Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML

#17601670 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (13671) - you deserved it (23536)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18am - intimacy - by dev - United States (Pennsylvania)