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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39444) - you deserved it (3010)
On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36150) - you deserved it (9915)
On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I found out that my cell phone bill was much higher than normal. After investigating, I realized that a text conversation I had with my stalker, telling him multiple times not to contact me anymore, was to an international cell phone. I have to pay to be stalked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37938) - you deserved it (4915)
On 05/16/2013 at 12:31am - money - by astalkerindeed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39227) - you deserved it (2545)
On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52648) - you deserved it (3877)
On 05/07/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by the girl next door (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend and I stressed out preparing for our one week holiday. We packed for the whole day, said goodbye to everyone and arrived at the airport quite exhausted after a 45-minute train ride. Turns out our flight isn't until tomorrow. The check-in lady couldn't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35375) - you deserved it (13178)
On 05/04/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by Tickettoride (woman) - Austria (Wien)
Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18256) - you deserved it (1609)
On 08/15/2012 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25491) - you deserved it (6246)
On 09/20/2011 at 4:25am - intimacy - by Alexandra (woman) - Lebanon
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31448) - you deserved it (6360)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9611) - you deserved it (189645)
On 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Chichensoup (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28852) - you deserved it (2897)
On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)
Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59571) - you deserved it (5648)
On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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