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Hannahmgp

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Hannahmgp

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 October 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1010
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Hannahmgp's page activity

Visits<b>woodencoffin</b> - the 11/24/2012 at 5:05am<b>WiseGuy79</b> - the 10/30/2012 at 5:48pm<b>ncbeach22</b> - the 08/13/2010 at 10:43am

Hannahmgp's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Hannahmgp's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63024) - you deserved it (16009)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70194) - you deserved it (8178)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

#4499384
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67847) - you deserved it (7614)

On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#4155124
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21826) - you deserved it (53840)

On 07/30/2009 at 5:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I found out that my new boss at my job is the same guy that I turned down repeatedly last night at the bar. FML

#3820845
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51463) - you deserved it (4061)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:02am - work - by awkward. (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML

#3669971
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55102) - you deserved it (8431)

On 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by waxinghorror (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

#3398201
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (149117) - you deserved it (9355)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my exgirlfriend's number. She texted back, "one of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML

#1628197
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25922) - you deserved it (67671)

On 05/04/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by 1suckatL1fe - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML

#1590402
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39199) - you deserved it (24387)

On 05/03/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Sally256 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

#1091481
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61218) - you deserved it (13882)

On 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

#1070820
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41742) - you deserved it (15374)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
505 comments

I agree, your life sucks (234682) - you deserved it (81897)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

#3882
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7314) - you deserved it (39828)

On 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm - animals - by jf29 - United States (Ohio)



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