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Hannahmgp

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Hannahmgp
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 October 1989 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 583
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Hannahmgp's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24790) - you deserved it (24648)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was looking through my boyfriends phone, when I found a naked picture of myself. Too bad I haven't sent him any. Ever. FML

#12187876
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28398) - you deserved it (10084)

On 07/29/2010 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Sunshine.0.ninja - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend won't have sex with me. Why? Because my mii knocked out her mii in Wii boxing. It wouldn't be as bad if she wasn't in one player mode. FML

#11907332
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25960) - you deserved it (3305)

On 07/15/2010 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by knock_out (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that when my boyfriend said "I'll love you forever" what he really meant was "I'll love you until I meet your significantly more attractive sister" FML

#11445252
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42245) - you deserved it (3703)

On 06/25/2010 at 3:08am - love - by Crumpet - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

#10813076
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5995) - you deserved it (27478)

On 05/28/2010 at 12:30am - animals - by Teresa (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was hit on by an older man. I rolled my eyes at him and informed him I was 16, hoping that would get him to leave me alone. He shrugged and said, "We're both human." FML

#8103902
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19114) - you deserved it (2126)

On 02/10/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by creepster (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41896) - you deserved it (3028)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

#6968124
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31186) - you deserved it (2968)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38510) - you deserved it (2230)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

#6355609
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11839) - you deserved it (20761)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - animals - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail. We were very excited because our mailbox wasn't empty anymore. She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML

#5675948
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29615) - you deserved it (2477)

On 10/06/2009 at 12:32am - misc - by mahlee (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got it on for the first time with a guy I've been dating. He had to turn the TV up loud so that his mom couldn't hear anything. I'm 20 years old and I lost my virginity with Disney Channel blaring in the background. FML

#5434150
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8860) - you deserved it (11531)

On 09/23/2009 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by seriouslystupid (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML

#5219515
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40386) - you deserved it (5367)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

#5049999
511 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97349) - you deserved it (23464)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54616) - you deserved it (12512)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)



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