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Hannahmgp

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Hannahmgp
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 October 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 778
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Hannahmgp's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19404) - you deserved it (3819)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25632) - you deserved it (4522)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19603) - you deserved it (11073)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

#20065022
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17514) - you deserved it (1717)

On 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

#20024681
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28684) - you deserved it (7054)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cardsftw - United States (California)

Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML

#20024649
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29912) - you deserved it (2901)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by itwasmyfavoriteshirt - United States (Arkansas)

Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML

#20022564
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33548) - you deserved it (3708)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm - health - by theflow (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I spent five dollars on a virtual cat. FML

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60380) - you deserved it (4436)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46820) - you deserved it (14937)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

#17779668
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31863) - you deserved it (2416)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32001) - you deserved it (4152)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37023) - you deserved it (6968)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the beach with my friends to show off my engagement ring. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up extremely sunburnt to a text from my boyfriend confessing that he's been cheating on me. I gave him the ring back. Now I have its tan line on my finger. FML

#16504640
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36932) - you deserved it (6040)

On 06/04/2011 at 8:54pm - love - by Burned - United States

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

#15381959
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46554) - you deserved it (7649)

On 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm - kids - by jaimie - United States (Florida)



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